Parting Appologies
Sep. 17th, 2006 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lslinesTitle: Parting Appologies
Rating: K
Series: Jeanette
Pairing: Mano Jeanette x Joanne Myer
Claimer: Mine
Authors Note: Written for20_songs; How You Remind Me - Nickelback
Rating: K
Series: Jeanette
Pairing: Mano Jeanette x Joanne Myer
Claimer: Mine
Authors Note: Written for
20_songs; How You Remind Me - Nickelback"I’m sorry, Mano.”
Pointless words. We both know this, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ll say them over and over, just like I have before. But this time, I won’t have to again.
“It’s not like you didn’t know, Mano, so please don’t act so hurt now. I said I loved you. I swear, I still do. But, I’m sorry and I’m leaving. Not for myself, but for your sake. I can’t bring myself to imagine how horrible this relationship must have been for you. How terrible having to live with me must be. It must have almost killed you, over and over, my treatment of you, all the fighting and the insults. Oh, if I wasn’t so scared I’d hurt you again, I’d hug you. Maybe I would anyway. But I won’t risk waking you. I’m sorry.”
Mano doesn’t open his eyes. I wasn’t expecting him to, and I was actually counting on him not. I would never be able to say this to him if he were awake.
“I’ve got all my stuff. Except that red candle you liked so much. I left that on the bedside table, so you’ll see it in the morning. I’ve also taken your shower gel, because I don’t think I’d be able to live without something to remind me of you. I shouldn’t take it, I know. It’s stealing. But I don’t care. These are the kinds of things just being near you makes me do, and this is how you remind me of what I really am, who I really am. Which is another reason why I’ve got to leave.”
He shifts slightly in his sleep, rolling closer to where I sit on the end of the bed. He’s always does that, no matter where I am and no matter if he’s conscious or not.
“Anyway, Mano, you’ll get over me. You’re one tough cookie, and I know you’ll have moved on within the month. So I’m happy for you. And in fact, if you ask me, you should spend some more time with that ex student of ours, Tracey. He’s got one hell of a crush on you, Mano. And I know you’ll make such a cute couple. Besides, he won’t hurt you like I have. Not to mention the fact that your family will like him much more than they liked me. Hell, we both know fully well that they didn’t like me at all. Only accepted me because you wanted them to so badly. And Lisa didn’t even do that!”
I sigh, comb a hand through his hair, and get off the bed.
“I love you Mano. Always have, always will, and I’m sorry. But I want you to live, so I’m outta here.”
I open the door, shift my stuff into the hallway, and close it behind me. I want to just stand here, leaning against it for a while. I want to cry. But I can’t and I won’t so I don’t and I just leave.
“I’m sorry, Mano.”
Pointless words. We both know this, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ll say them over and over, just like I have before. But this time, I won’t have to again.
“It’s not like you didn’t know, Mano, so please don’t act so hurt now. I said I loved you. I swear, I still do. But, I’m sorry and I’m leaving. Not for myself, but for your sake. I can’t bring myself to imagine how horrible this relationship must have been for you. How terrible having to live with me must be. It must have almost killed you, over and over, my treatment of you, all the fighting and the insults. Oh, if I wasn’t so scared I’d hurt you again, I’d hug you. Maybe I would anyway. But I won’t risk waking you. I’m sorry.”
Mano doesn’t open his eyes. I wasn’t expecting him to, and I was actually counting on him not. I would never be able to say this to him if he were awake.
“I’ve got all my stuff. Except that red candle you liked so much. I left that on the bedside table, so you’ll see it in the morning. I’ve also taken your shower gel, because I don’t think I’d be able to live without something to remind me of you. I shouldn’t take it, I know. It’s stealing. But I don’t care. These are the kinds of things just being near you makes me do, and this is how you remind me of what I really am, who I really am. Which is another reason why I’ve got to leave.”
He shifts slightly in his sleep, rolling closer to where I sit on the end of the bed. He’s always does that, no matter where I am and no matter if he’s conscious or not.
“Anyway, Mano, you’ll get over me. You’re one tough cookie, and I know you’ll have moved on within the month. So I’m happy for you. And in fact, if you ask me, you should spend some more time with that ex student of ours, Tracey. He’s got one hell of a crush on you, Mano. And I know you’ll make such a cute couple. Besides, he won’t hurt you like I have. Not to mention the fact that your family will like him much more than they liked me. Hell, we both know fully well that they didn’t like me at all. Only accepted me because you wanted them to so badly. And Lisa didn’t even do that!”
I sigh, comb a hand through his hair, and get off the bed.
“I love you Mano. Always have, always will, and I’m sorry. But I want you to live, so I’m outta here.”
I open the door, shift my stuff into the hallway, and close it behind me. I want to just stand here, leaning against it for a while. I want to cry. But I can’t and I won’t so I don’t and I just leave.
“I’m sorry, Mano.”
